But not with you (hiatus)
by harbingeraz
Summary: Rick and Michonne are college sweethearts who are left to make a series of decisions that test their relationship across state lines. This is AU- no walkers/biters. Expect some Negan/Michonne and LoRick. Contains some adult language/content.
1. Chapter 1

*I don't own the Walking Dead characters, just love writing them in different scenarios*

This is a multi chapter story and its AU. No Walkers/biters. I really love imagining Rick and Michonne in different life situations. This story is inspired by the song Never as tired as when I'm waking up by LCD Soundsystem

Enjoy!

* * *

He stood in front of the hotel in his suite. It had been a lovely day of activities. Sasha and Abraham had decided to host a simple a wedding in Texas over the long weekend. He had wanted Lori to come but she had insisted on staying home to finish her business proposal. After their engagement party six months prior, Lori had busied herself at work and doing wedding planning. She told him he should spend time with his friends, since she was not the biggest Abraham fan.

"Lori, it's their wedding. I want you to be my date. You're my fiance for God sake." Rick said pacing in their bedroom.

"I just cannot leave the Stevenson deal in the hands of interns. Phillip would murder me." Lori replied trying to assuage Rick's temper

Lori rose from their bed, slowly walking to stop Rick in his pacing. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to reassure him. "I want you to go. I'll be right here when you get back." Rick turned to face Lori leaning towards her and gently placing a chaste kiss on her before walking into their bathroom.

For six months he had tried to convince Lori to change her mind knowing that he would have to face _her_ in Texas. Lori, always supportive but firm reassured Rick that she would not be swayed to going. So standing in front of the hotel waiting for the shuttle to take him and the other guests to the reception dinner he thought about how to get through this wedding weekend. A gentle tap on his shoulder roused him from his thoughts.

"Hey man" a friendly voice said

"Hey Glenn. Maggie." Rick said looking at the couple with a warm smile.

"Rick! It's so nice to see you." Maggie said embracing Rick and standing between Rick and Glenn.

"No Lori I see. She must be really busy." Glenn said.

"Yeah, she is trying to close a deal and her boss didn't want her to take the time off." Rick signed.

"Well, we're happy you're here. Daryl is going to meet us at the dinner. Him and Carol are still separating." Maggie informed.

"Too bad. Carol was a real ass-kicker but she did Daryl good." Rick said and smiled

Rick, Maggie, and Glenn continued talking while the other guests milled around the hotel lobby waiting for the shuttle. Tara and Denise walked up to the group to exchange pleasantries and catch up. With Rick moving to Atlanta and Tara and Denise out in Denver, this weekend was a rare moment for all of the friends to reconnect. Rick was talking about Tara's new obsession with rock climbing when his breath hitched. He glanced at the women he had hoped to avoid the entire weekend.

She wore a halter canary yellow dress with an upside down triangle perfectly set between her rounded breast. The dress stopped just above the knees and clung to her curves. Her locs adorned with gold beads sat in a crown and high bun and she carried a clutch. Gold dangling earrings grazed against her neck as her high heels clicked on the hotel floors.

She stopped and smiled at the group who had been talking absentmindedly.

"Hi guys" she said and smiled, causing Rick to flinch at the sheer brightness of their teeth against the rich darkness of her smooth skin. "Hey Michonne! You look hot." Tara said resulting in a tap from Denise.

Michonne greeted all of her friends with hugs, stopping in front of Rick and placing her hand on his shoulder "Hi Rick." she said.


	2. Chapter 2 Darlin' no more

Hia! So this chapter gives some backstory to our faves R &M. Thanks for reading!

Michonne stood in front of Rick meeting his eyes for the first time that evening. "Hey" he signed, his mind working over why even after two years of not seeing one another she could make him feel as though he had arrhythmia. Even now he knew she was his heartbeat. Rick gently wrapped his arms around her, pausing for a second too long before letting go.

Michonne turned to the rest of the group and started talking. Rick, who was so focused on the curve of her neck and the way her eyebrows arched didn't hear the question.

"No Lori?" Michonne asked.

"No, not this time. Where's _Negan_?" Rick followed up.

"Prague." she shrugged.

Michonne had married Negan a year ago. Rick had been invited to the wedding but declined, stating a busy schedule. In truth he refused to admit that he had been an idiot, leaving her after five years together, he didn't think that she'd meet someone and fall for them so hard and fast. Hell, he wasn't sure what it was about Negan that pissed him off so much but he _hated_ Negan for doing the one thing he was afraid of doing- making an honest woman out of Michonne.

The rehearsal dinner was going smoothly. Eugene, Abe's old friend from grade school gave an odd toast which included some limericks about Saha's posterior. The guests smiled good naturedly and nodded in faux understanding. Rick had been asked to give a speech at the wedding and felt nervous at the reception dinner. He was placed with Michonne on his left and Sasha's brother Tyrese on his right. Feeling too nervous Rick drank a few glasses of bourbon, leaving him even more anxious as Michonne would lean in to talk to him or Tyrese. When the music started Michonne and the others began dancing. Rick watched her intently from his seat remembering when she would force him to the dance floor at parties. How she would put her hands on his hips to encourage him to move, how she would kiss him deeply on the dancefloor like they were the only people. Rick excused himself and headed to the bathroom. He sat in the stall for a moment before getting himself together and walking out quickly. He bumped into Michonne who was headed to the washroom.

"Sorry darlin." he said holding her waist to help her catch her balance.

"It's fine Rick. But you don't get to call me that." she said

"What? Darlin'? I don't even get that?" he said sounding a bit more frustrated than intended, his hand still on her waist.

Michonne took Rick's hand and gently went to remove it, he grabbed at her a little harder.

"No Rick. I'm not your darlin." she said and backed away from him forcing him to let her go.

"Can we talk… when you're done" he asked gesturing to the bathroom.

"Sure, we can talk." Michonne said before entering the bathroom.

After refreshing her lipstick, Michonne exited the restroom to find Rick leaning against the wall. He gestured for her to walk ahead. She knew it was just a way for him to watch her walk, so she put an intentional sway in her step, feeling his eyes run the length of her legs up. She grabbed her tumbler from the table and walked towards the front of the restaurant.

Rick stopped as Michonne found a spot at the bar and gestured for him to sit.

"I figured if you wanted to talk we shouldn't ruin everybody's night" she said half-joking.

"Why do you do that Michonne?"

"Do what Rick?" she asked taking a sip of her drink

"Why do you make it so hard for me." he sighed

"You're joking right?" She scoffed "It's been over a year since we've seen each other, and I'm making _what_ hard for you exactly?" she smiled knowingly

Rick blushed at the innuendo. Even though they had ended their relationship two years prior the chemistry they felt for each other was very real. The air felt electric between them, their body language alert, like two predators circling each other, sizing the competition out. It was visceral, and Rick felt cloudy looking at Michonne.

"'Chonne" he crooned as he moved a bit closer, too close for friends 'just talking'.

"Rick. I'm fine. Things are great even. Negan and I are very happy in Chicago. There's nothing for me in Georgia." she said

"Nothing, or no one?" Rick asked

"There was _someone_ , but that's two years too late."

"Would it make it easier if I said I was an idiot and I'm sorry?" he asked, taking the tumbler glass from her hands and putting the contents to his lips.

"Rick, honestly. You stomped all over our five years together and now you're getting married to some waif that looks like Arwen. What is sorry going to do? Am I magically going to be unmarried?" she asked

"I deserve that." he said, his head bowing slightly, his crystal blue eyes drilling into Michonne's deep brown pools for an answer he wasn't sure he was ready to receive. _Does she still love me_?

Michonne felt almost bad for Rick. He had pursued her with such fervor when they first met in college she didn't understand why. He was so kind to her and after their first summer together where they both quit their shit jobs and went on a month long road trip together they had moved from friends to something more. Michonne's parents were progressive and didn't care much that Rick was white, or country, but Rick's father had never been kind to Michonne. They would slog through holidays with his folks, his father ever the rude jerk who insisted on calling her Michelle even after years of correction. His daddy even asked her once if she felt bad about preventing his son from finding a more _suitable_ wife. Michonne, the daughter of a Judge and a business woman, who summered in Europe in high school, whose German was good, French was better and her Italian was impeccable- she wondered who on this green earth would be a better partner to Rick than her. She of course knew what his father meant, but she loved Rick and was willing to remain diplomatic. His mother was always kind, but his father's ire caused some of the worst arguments the two had.

Once after a particularly tense Easter lunch Michonne got up from the table, staring very clearly at his father and said "I'm not going anywhere. If you don't see that, than I feel bad for you, but know that you may think you're better than me because of your skin color, but _know_ I'm a better person than you'll ever be." she slowly pushed her chair out, turned around and said

"Thank you for the wonderful meal Mrs. Grimes. I'm sad to have lost my appetite, I'll see myself out." before leaving the house.

Rick had followed her and said he was sorry about his father.

"This is my last visit with your family Rick. I'm tired of that old man telling me I'm not good enough when he knows damn well, I'm better than good."

"Michonne, you're _great; hell baby, you're spectacular_. I'm sorry. We won't come for holidays anymore."

After college, Rick and Michonne worked odd jobs trying to make the best of their early 20's together. When Michonne told Rick she had decided to go back to school in a year, he was excited about it. At 23 she felt it was a good a time as any to pursue her PhD and applied to schools all over the country, and a few in Europe. When the time came and Michonne had to sit Rick down to tell him she had been accepted to the University of Chicago and would likely take the offer, she assumed he would be happy, or better yet come along. But Rick hesitated.

"Michonne, I'm not moving to Chicago, my life is here. With Mama sick and Daddy struggling with the business, I gotta stay with my family." he said

"I thought _I_ was your family Rick?" she replied surprised that he would not want to go on this adventure with her. She had assumed they'd make it work while she finished her PhD and would return to Georgia after the five years. She was blind sighted by Rick.

Weeks later Rick had told her that if she was leaving it would be better to take a break, since they would be so far apart and he didn't wait to worry her.

"You're breaking up with me?" she asked

"No Michonne… I'm trying to do the right thang here and give you space."

"I don't want space Rick. I fought so hard for this relationship, _for you,_ even after your father, who is garbage, treated me badly. You're giving me space? Why?"

"I just want you to be happy Chonne. I want you to succeed. I think it'll be better if I'm not in the way of your studies." Rick said

"What does that even mean Rick? You're gonna leave me after five years together?"

Rick's anger got the best of him and he shot up from the couch he was sitting in and roared " _You're the one leaving Michonne!_ I'm not moving my life away. YOU did that, not me."

Michonne was shocked. Rick had always encouraged her to follow her dreams so it came as a surprise that he felt some bitterness about her departure.

"Ok Rick. Since you want me to be happy, I'm leaving. Don't come for me if you change your mind. _There'll be no one left for you when you come looking_." Michonne left their shared apartment.

She stayed with mutual friends and her parents for the remainder of her time in Atlanta, avoiding Rick, who had come to his senses a few weeks later. He tried calling, texting, even visited her parents house but Michonne refused to see him. Maggie and Sasha had tried to get Michonne to talk to Rick on the phone "Tell him I'm dead." was her only response.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey folks. So this is a filler on what's happened over the last two years. Mostly backstory. Next chapter will move a lot faster. Thanks again for reading! Writing fiction is really such a joy. Enjoy._

After Michonne moved to Chicago, she quickly found her stride in the academy. Her love of learning apparent to all of her professors and colleagues. Michonne joined a running group to have an outlet where they would run along Lake Michigan. A budding friendship with an older man quickly turned into more. Negan, who was in his mid-thirties and worked in advertising, spent a concerted amount of effort wooing Michonne. He was kind to her even when he was rude and crass with just about everyone else. He was assertive, decisive, and open- everything Rick refused to be before she left his life. Negan asked her to move in after 6 months and within a year he had proposed. Michonnes parents were happy for her, pleased that Michonne had found someone who knew their way- they mostly liked Negan, even though he was gruff and would often give you the alpha side of him he cared deeply for family traditions. Anyone could tell by the way he spoke to Michonne that he loved her dearly, everyone else was a waste of time.

And in many ways Michonne cared for Negan- he was attractive, successful, and gave her a life. She did as she pleased which basically meant school and he was there to support her. Negan was always away on business and when he was home, they would go to hip restaurants, or art shows and he would parade her around calling her his 'hot brainiac'. Michonne had spent so much time running from Rick that when Negan proposed she felt that it was only right, Negan was sure and his certainty made her feel certain about him. She had invited Rick to the wedding not out of spite, but because she loved him and wanted him to be there for her. He had refused to come and a part of her was grateful. Right after her honeymoon, Sasha had told her that Rick had moved in with some woman named Lori. "Let me guess, she's a waif white woman whose parents are well to do southern gentry. Oh, does her daddy like to go to the rodeo?" Michonne scoffed. Sasha was apologetic about telling Michonne but she assured Sasha that it was fine- Rick had found his perfect girl and she was happy.

Rick had been seeing Lori right as he found out Michonne had gotten engaged from Glenn, who found out from Maggie (of course). Rick's shock at the news that Michonne had seemingly left him behind in her new life hurt him. He didn't think when she said that there would be no one left, that she would actually move on. Her ability to start seeing this man, Negan, propelled him forward. Soon after Michonne's engagement Rick doubled down on his relationship with Lori, taking her to see his parents, being present, doing everything to ensure she'd choose him and she did. Lori had been instantly smitten with Rick, he was charming, confident and not too cocky, and he treated her like the only woman in the world. Ricks parents were surprised the first time Lori came over, his father making an offhand remark about how age brings wisdom in reference to Lori and Rick. Rick knew his father was garbage but didn't want to cause any trouble, and he did care for Lori- she was a sure bet and her certainty of him made it easy for him to propose after a year of dating. Hell, he thought, if Michonne could get married to some guy she barely knows why can't I.

Rick had not seen Michonne for a year and happened to run into her at her favorite coffee shop. He had stopped in to grab his Mama those cupcakes she loved so much, and there she was standing in line on her phone. Her back was turned and she was wearing a pair of fitted jeans and a simple white top. Her laughter hitting him in the gut like a ton of bricks as he came to his senses. After she had paid for her order she turned around only to come eye to eye with Rick Grimes. Michonne stopped in her tracks, her face drawing into a smile as she met the eyes of her once lover and former best friend. She sauntered down the line to meet him. Rick watched as Michonne walked in slow motion, his eyes darting from her face, to her body and back. He had forgotten what the sun felt like, and when she was close he could smell it- lavender and coconuts. His heart felt constrained, his faculties faltered when he heard her say "Hey Rick" the rich velvet of her voice hitting him in the chest.

"Chonne. You look great." he said, a hint of sadness in his tone.

"Getting cupcakes for your Mama?" she asked, a flash of surprise across his face.

"I remember everything." she said with a shrug.

"You in town?" Rick followed up, ignoring her question.

"For the weekend. I'm staying with my parents before my field work. I'll be out of the country for 3 months."

Rick wanted to ask her where she was going, how her first year of her PhD was, if she missed home. Instead he just nodded. The fitful moment of silence continued when her phone buzzed.

"Sorry, I've got to take this, it's my adviser." she said

"Go on Darlin'. It was nice to see you." he said placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Good to see you too Rick. Tell your Mama I send my regards." she said touching his hand over hers and walking away.

Rick felt deflated. How could she just stand there casually and talk to him. Didn't she hate him? Didn't she feel anything for him? His thoughts raced from the bakery through his time with his parents til he got home to Lori. Lori, sitting at their small kitchen table working. All of his fretting ceased when she was with him because she wanted him, and he wanted to be wanted, to be needed. So he took all he could get.


	4. Chapter 4 No it feels like I'm in love

_Hi folks! This is shorter chapter, I picked up a lot of steam, and it all evaporated a bit. Next few chapters will be a little longer. Thanks for reading!_

Rick woke up the next morning and he felt something heavy on his arm. After blinking a few times he turned to his left and found Michonne, still in her dress fully asleep. He signed deeply, encircling her in his arms and resting his head on hers. The familiar weightiness of her body bringing him back to the conversation they had at the bar. After she had admitted that she was still very angry at him and felt almost numb to his apology, he told her that he wanted to try to be friends. She told him a few choice words, called him pathetic, even said that he let his family spoil their relationship. They went back to the hotel and after Michonne thoroughly berated Rick he asked for the one thing he'd missed from her- being close to her. And even though she knew it wasn't the smartest idea she conceded to sit with him for old times sake. They both fell asleep hours later after exhausted from divulging their feelings from the past.

Michonne moaned at the feel of strong arms encircling her. For a moment she forgot where she was and brought her hand up to touch the face of the person, only to remember that it was Rick. Her hand faltered as it reached his cheek and she was reminded of how easy this all felt, the close proximity, the familiar scent of Rick Grimes, the size of his hands which always found their way to her hips when they slept.

"You awake?" he heard the voice say close to her ear.

"Yeah" she said moving to create space between his body and hers. As on instinct, Rick's arms squeezed tighter and he nuzzled deeper into the crook of her neck.

"I have to go. Sasha's going to need help getting ready." Michonne reached for Rick's hand and tried to remove them from her hips only to feel him wiggle his lower half into her back.

"Rick! I have to go" she said firmly. Rick finally registered that he wasn't dreaming and let her go.

"Sorry. I can't help myself when I'm with you." he said honestly.

"Well Rick, you're not with me." she said.

"Damnit Michonne, don't you think I _know_ that? You've ruined me Michonne. How am I supposed to love anyone else?" he asked.

"I don't know Rick, but you've got to figure that out with your fiance." she said.

"Don't you miss me Michonne?" Rick asked getting out of bed and facing her. He starts to take his tie off and walks towards Michonne who stood on the other side of the bed.

"There's no room to miss you Rick. You didn't want me to be your family, so I'm not."

"Don't do that. Don't act like this is all on me." he said gesticulating between the two of them.

Michonne stomps towards Rick and pushes him onto the bed. She straddles him and reaches her hands to his face while he instinctively grabs two fistfuls of her ass. She gets inches from his lips and says

"This, between us, is over. You made your choice and it wasn't me. I wasn't it Rick. So I can miss you or want you, but know that you'll never have me. Not again, _not ever_."

She saw the confusion and hurt run across Ricks face and his mind processed the words coming out of her mouth, her body slinked over him, his hands resting on her bottom as he felt the familiar stirring in his stomach. He sat dumbfounded as she got up, pulled her dress down and walked out of his room slamming the door in his face.


	5. Chapter 5 Make sure I know

So life is just full of peaks and valleys. Thanks for sticking with this story. I got really excited about it and fell off a bit. The drama continues for poor Rick, who makes foolish decisions often.

Life went on for Rick Grimes. After Sasha and Abraham's wedding, Rick went back to Atlanta focused on getting his life together so he could finally become a CSI. His family's business had stabilized and his mother's health improved. His relationship with Lori followed his parents expected trajectory- they got married, and had their first kid Carl. Lori's job kept her busy, leaving Rick to provide most of the care for Carl. They moved to a suburb outside of Atlanta to give Carl some semblance of a childhood out of the busy streets of the city. Rick's relationship with Lori went from certain to strained over the seven years of their marriage. After she had Carl, Lori decided that she didn't want any other children. Rick, however felt that being a parent was far more rewarding than anything he'd ever done. He loved Carl more than anything he would often think, and then remind himself of the only other person who made his life feel any semblance of complete.

He had heard that she was doing well over the years from Glenn, who heard from Maggie (of course). After she had left him the morning of Sasha and Abraham's wedding, they barely spoke to one another beyond cordial greetings. He watched her the entire day engage with their friends, her laughter a reminder of how stupid he was for actually thinking he would ever get over her. He would catch the glint of her wedding ring and feel his stomach churn with hatred for this _husband_ of hers- who names their fucking kid Negan anyway? Glenn had told him that Michonne had completed her PhD in four years, a miracle by graduate student standards, and that she was expecting a kid. Rick felt a pang of sadness at the news, but by that time, they had been apart for four years and he assured himself that she was happy without him.

Lori was on another business trip and Rick was waiting to pick up Carl from practice to prepare for his baseball game that weekend. He was working from home when he noticed a notification from Lori's Facebook. He hadn't realized that she was using his laptop since she had two, one for business and another for personal use. Without thinking much of it, he went to log her out, never one to be nozy when he realized it was a picture of his wife with her boss, Philip. They were smiling at one another on a beach somewhere, his arm draped around her waist. Reeling from the shock, Rick scrolled through her messages to discover that Lori and Philip were doing a whole lot of business together, just not of the professional kind. The devastation of realizing that Lori was having an affair with her boss was only made more palpable by the conversation Lori and Philip had about Lori's drafting of divorce papers and her desire to leave Rick and Carl. Rick waited for Lori to come home.

"Hi honey" Lori greeted from the door of their two family house. Rick was sitting on the couch with his laptop open, his fists clenched and tears in his eyes.

"Rick, what's wrong?" Lori asked walking behind the couch to a seated Rick. Glancing down she noticed the picture of her and Philip. "It's not what you think it is." She said.

"So you're not sleeping with your boss and planning to divorce me?" Rick asked flatly.

"Rick… I can explain." she began.

"Lori, get the _fuck_ out of my house." he said, too calmly.

"Rick" she signed, a sense of exasperation.

"Lori. I'm going to say this one more time. Get your shit, and get the fuck out of my house." Rick said suddenly standing up, his jaw clenching as he faced Lori who looked flabbergasted. Her brown hair falling in her face as she looked down, avoiding the storm brewing in his eyes.

"Rick"

Rick turned abruptly and marched upstairs, grabbing her clothes and throwing them down the stairs.

"You lied to me Lori. For _years,_ you lied to me. LEAVE!" he said.

Lori grabbed her bag and walked out the front door.

Rick sat on his bed with his head down, staring at his wedding ring. He thought about Carl and how he would tell him that Lori was leaving. Carl who was seven, who had a normal childhood, have it all ripped away. Rick went down the stairs, collected all of Lori's clothes and threw them in the closet. He called Glenn and Maggie who offered to take Carl for the evening. Rick laid in bed wondering how he had gotten to this point- a 33 year old man whose marriage had dissolved right before his eyes because of Facebook. He felt the faint sounds of his phone vibrating against the bed but ignored the call.

Weeks later Rick and Carl were visiting Rick's parents in King County. His father who had adored Lori took it the worst.

"So you're just gonna give up, after she gave you that son of yours?" His father asked. "There's nothing left."

Rick said "She doesn't want me."

Rick's father said "This has always been your problem Richard. You give up too easily. What about that Michelle girl- gave her up when she decided to up and leave for that school."

"Michonne Dad, her name was and is Michonne."

"Well whatever her name was, you just up and gave up on her now didn't ya."

"Why do you care. You never liked her, always treated her like she didn't deserve to be with me."

"Well, those people aren't good enough for the Grimes name."

"What people Dad? You got everything you wanted from me. I married a snow flower and look what it got me- a devastated son. Anyway, you were so happy to be rid of Michonne."

"I was, but that didn't mean that I wanted my son to not fight for what he wanted."

"You know what Dad, I'm tired. Carl and I are gonna go." Rick and Carl left his grandparents house and headed home. The weeks after Lori's departure all merged together. Rick put on a strong face for Carl and kept it moving. Glenn and Maggie were a big help, even though they had two kids of their own, they were a godsend.

Around the six month mark Rick started to feel almost like his old self again. He had hired a babysitter, Beth, part time to care for Carl and his work life was relatively easy. Checking his mail he received an invitation for Denise and Tara's wedding. He called Daryl, who he hadn't seen in awhile due to his on again/off again relationship with Carol. Rick and Daryl were close, but when Daryl was with Carol he would disappear for months at a time, sometimes even years before resurfacing. This time though, Daryl told Rick it was over for good.

"She's killing my spirit" Daryl said putting his drink down on the porch. Rick and Daryl were sitting outside, enjoying the last days of summer.

"Daryl, y'all have been doing this thang for over ten years, aren't you tried?" Rick asked

"We love each other. But it doesn't mean we are good together." Daryl said. A man of few words but great insight, Daryl would speak your true name and make you feel shame for questioning him.

"Sounds familiar." Rick said. Daryl looked into Ricks eyes and raised his eyebrow that was not covered by his swooping brown trusses.

"You didn't love Lori man. You liked her enough to marry her." Daryl said.

"Doesn't mean it hurts any less that she cheated on me for years. Or that she is leaving Carl." Rick signed, taking a sip of his lukewarm beer.

"Man, you need to be good to that little boy and forget you ever remotely liked Lori. Trust me. Now that Carol and I are officially done, I'm treating Sophia the way she should have been treated, that little girl is the only thing between Carol and me." Daryl said.

Daryl looked at Rick's sad face, he wasn't sure if he should tell him, but thought since Maggie or Glenn would tell him soon enough, he'd do it.

"You know Chonne is back." he said.

Rick's eyes widened. "Wh.. what do you mean Chonne is back?"

"She got some job as a Professor at Morespell or Spelhouse. She's been in Atlanta for six months now." Daryl said.

"Well that's good." Rick said, putting his hand over his ring finger to twirl his wedding band.

"Man, y'all are useless. Chonne and Negan split. He helped her move here and he's back in Chicago. She's going to Denise and Tara's wedding you know." Daryl continued

"Why are you telling me this?" Rick asked Daryl.

"So you don't make the same stupid mistake twice."

"What mistake is that?"

"God Rick yaur dense sometimes. Go find your girl." Daryl said getting up and walking into Rick's house. Rick sat quietly on the porch thinking about the last time he'd seen Michonne at another wedding. _God, I hate weddings_ Rick thought polishing off his beer and walking into his house.


	6. Chapter 6 Never as tired

It was the first week of classes and Michonne had done a quick run through of her biological sciences curriculum. When she was offered the Tenure track position at Spelman, she was hesitant. She had been doing research for years at this point and wasn't sure if teaching would be something she enjoyed. After speeding through her PhD, she wanted to focus her energies on research and her child. Andre, whom her and Negan referred to as just Dre came into the world two weeks after defending her dissertation. It was a miracle of sorts to not only be a Doctor, but to have created such a perfect baby.

 _Hi folks! Thanks for the reviews. I know a few folks are not really into Negan, and I totally get it. But I think he;s an interesting Foil and also, just really messy. This chapter is all about Michonne. I've been picking up steam at work, so my writing/editing time has shrunk._

 _Thanks for reading y'all. I'm feeling the feels writing this and I appreciate y'all._

Michonne and Negan's relationship which was easy up until that point started getting more challenging. Michonne had decided to do a post-doc at Northwestern since their research facilities were great and after taking the summer to recover, she rushed into keeping up with her male colleagues. Being a woman in STEM was always a challenge, and she knew that being a mother in addition would cause numerous setbacks if she wasn't publishing research. Negan told Michonne that he felt constrained by her schedule. Where once he was grateful to have her be out and driven, having Dre made him want her home all the time. They hired a full time nanny and Michonne worked her way up in her field- attending conferences, international travel, long nights in the lab. When Negan would demand Michonne slow down, she refused. She told him she was too young to slow down, too hungry. Negan's initial frustrations towards her bloomed into full blown rage. Michonne had told him that she wanted to wait a few years before having another child, but he tried everything to get her pregnant even going so far as hiding her birth control.

Then she started noticing that he was taking more trips than usual. Michonne's work life got complicated as one of her colleagues from another university started stalking her. She was under a lot of pressure to perform, so she took a sabbatical to work on a book. The time brought her closer to her son and made her realize that maybe Negan was right. She had planned to tell him that she was going to take some time and was ready to start trying for another child when she found out their nanny was pregnant from a discarded pregnancy test. Of all the cliches, the fact that her husband was having a baby with the person who was watching their baby was beyond her. She was livid.

"She was suppose to be watching _our child_ not giving you a new one!" Michonne screamed as Negan paced in their loft apartment.

"It just happened." he said.

"How does one just 'happen' to get the nanny pregnant Negan? What, is she your Wife now? Are we living in a harem?" she screamed.

"Mich, you weren't around and Catrine and I got close."

"So you've been fucking our nanny for how long Negan?" she asked.

"Did you also fuck Nora? Is that why she left and we had to hire snow white here?" Michonne looked in Negas eyes and knew the truth.

"How many?" she asked.

"How many what Michonne?" he asked, only calling her Michonne when he was angry.

"How many women are you sleeping with besides me?" she asked. Negan had at that point walked to the makeshift bar and poured himself a drink.

"Tell me now." she demanded, placing her hands on her hips. Her eyes caught the view of the sun reflecting off of Lake Michigan. They had decided to live in one of those high rise apartments with all of the amenities. Michonne loved the view of the lake, the selling point to the spotless, sleek home.

"Six." he said.

"And do they all know you're married?" she asked a little too calmly.

"Yes." he said.

"So why are they all with you Negan?" she asked

"Because I'm engaged to them." he said, taking a sip of his drink and looking Michonne straight in the eyes.

"You're engaged to six women and married to me. Do you see how fucked up that is? Do you even know how sick I feel! How long Negan?" she asked. Michonne didn't really want to know the answer, but needed to know the truth.

"Since the beginning." Michonne ran to the bathroom and threw up her entire dinner. She sat down on the floor as Negan walked into the bathroom, offering her some water. She hit his hand away.

"So why did you marry me?" she asked

"Because you're special Mich. I wanted you to be happy."

"Jesus, what is up with men trying to give me happiness only to break my fucking heart?" she scoffed.

"I'm leaving you." she said to Negan.

"You've been lying to me for almost ten years of my life and I'm done." she said "I'm taking _your son_ Negan and I'm going. Don't come for me if you change your mind. _There'll be no one left for you when you come looking_."

Negan knew it was over so he did the only thing he could do, he let her go. Hell, he had six more women to occupy his time and even though Michonne had his only child, he knew she'd never come back. Ten years of a relationship with her had taught him that when she was resolute, there was no changing her mind. So he helped her get a place in Atlanta when she got the offer to teach at Spelman. He flew down with her and their son and helped them get settled. He even stayed for the week to help Dre adjust to the new city. At four Dre didn't understand why his Mother and Father were no longer going to be living in the same place, but he had always had a busy life for a child. One of his parents was always away on business or doing something that required their attention.

"Daddy is on business again?" Dre asked his mother as they packed for their move.

"Yes Dre. We are going to be moving to a new place so Daddy can take care of a few business arrangements" she replied sarcastically.

* * *

Michonne had taken the afternoon to organize her new office and meet her colleagues. She fortunately still had friends in Atlanta. Michonne had plans to meet with Maggie at her new house after Dre was put down for bed. She walked into the house with an excited Dre who was talking about his new friends from pre-school. He was happy that the kids were "really, really, really nice" he kept repeating. After eating dinner Michonne went to put Dre to bed when he asked "Is Daddy coming back from business soon?"

"Dre, Daddy is going to be gone for a little while longer. You'll get to visit him in a few months for the holidays. It's like when Mama went to Europe but a little longer."

"Do you miss Daddy?" he asked

"I'm sure you Daddy misses you very much and I do miss being in Chicago." she said deflecting the conversation.

"Are we going to be here for a long time?" he asked.

"I think your Daddy and I are going to be taking some time away from each other. It doesn't mean we don't love you, it just means that Mama and Daddy aren't going to be living in the same place anymore."

Michonne watched his face mill over the idea that his parents were not going to be in the same place for longer than was normal. Concluding something in his young mind, he replied "Ok Mama. I love you." Michonne smiled as Dre wiggled his body under his covers and yawned.

"I love you too, Peanut."

Michonne and Maggie sat on her couch sharing a glass of wine.

"So he just moved you in and signed the divorce papers?" Maggie asked.

"I didn't give him much of a choice. I told him to never come back and Negan knows I don't make light statements."

"I'm so sorry Michonne. I can't imagine how heartbroken you are."

"You know Maggie, I feel like a fool. I married a man I barely knew and spent almost ten years of my life with him. I gave him my 20's and he was sleeping with half the free world. I have a patent on a cancer drug for god sake and I didn't even deduce that my Husband was not only sleeping with six other women, but he was actively courting them. He was _engaged_ to them. What kind of life is that? What do I tell my son when he gets older?" Michonne said feeling her eyes sting with tears. She felt like a fool, Negan had ruined their marriage and had then left her to pick up the pieces, how was she going to deal with her son's questions? What kind of man was her ex-husband showing their son how to be.

"You didn't know Michonne and now you do. Would you have rather stayed married to him and not known that he was a philandering asshole?" Maggie said "pardon my language."

Michonne laughed at Maggie's politeness.

"You're right Maggie. You and Sasha have been so good to me these past few weeks."

"We love you girl. So screw Negan, let's hear about this new job."

Michonne smiled at Maggie, knowing that if anything, she had friends and family that cared about her.

Michonne had managed to get around the awkward conversations with her parents who called Negan everything under the sun and swore that they would burn their condo to the ground. Her mother even called Negan to berate him and told him that she was going to keep Dre away. Negan called Michonne who had agreed that they should at least let Dre spend holidays with his father, even if he was garbage. Michonne was diplomatic in that regard, she wanted her son to still have a relationship with his father, even if she didn't. Negan was cruel, rude, and crass, but he loved his kid- he fought for that and Michonne wasn't going to turn that against him. She loved Dre and so she knew her feelings for Negan would have to come second to Dre's. She was a researcher, the data showed that even if all Negan's variables were trash, his relationship with his son was the outlier, those mattered in data.

* * *

When Michonne received the wedding invitation for Tara and Denises wedding she felt a tension she didn't know was there. The last wedding she'd gone to ended with her straddling Rick Grimes after sleeping with him and telling him she'd never forgive him for leaving her. And here she was seven years later going to another wedding with their group of friends a divorced single parent- what luck. She knew that Glenn had told Rick about her and Negan, since Maggie couldn't keep her trap shut, and that Daryl had probably said something too since she'd seen him in passing right when she got back into town. She hadn't thought much about Rick since their disaster of an encounter at the wedding, her life was so focused on Dre, her work, and her marriage. A familiar feeling crept into her stomach at the thought of being in close proximity to Rick, after all Sasha had informed her that Rick had gotten a divorce from his wife Lori- Lady Aerwn, and he had a kid that was almost seven. She didn't hate Rick anymore, she just didn't know how to feel about the two of them in one place together. She had intentionally avoided him since moving back home and had hoped to continue that until her very last day on this planet, but the universe always has other plans.


	7. Chapter 7 Mile High Wedding

A/N: My sincere apologies for being such a rube about this story. I am garbage, and I'm sorry! I got really mired in the drama of it all and wanted to work on some happy/fluff stuff (it's spring!). So this chapter is kinda fluffy, and lighthearted. Don't worry, these fools will start gettin real. So buckle up, we're going to Denver.

* * *

 **Denver International Airport**

 _"Thank you for flying with us and welcome to Denver."_ came a chipper voice from the intercom. Michonne rubbed her temples, waiting to exit the plane. She had taken an early flight hoping to avoid conversation with other passengers. She exited the plane with her carry-on and went straight to the baggage claim. While waiting at the carousel which would produce her belongings for the next three days Michonne watched the spry looking white people in the Denver airport in sports attire grabbing hiking and climbing gear.

"Excited about this gay wedding" a familiar Texas twang shot out from behind her. Turning she laughed at her friend Abraham, his familiar flaming red hair and handlebar mustache, a sight for sore eyes.

"Abe, I'm pretty sure now that it's legal across the country it's just called a wedding." Sasha his wife noted

"Well, fuck a duck, I'm ready to drink some beers and try that sweet sweet cheeba." he said, using his index finger and thumb to mimic smoking a joint.

"Can't take him anywhere." Michonne remarked walking over to hug Sasha who was wearing a floral sun dress and abe, who has somehow managed to remain in the same cargo shorts and tank top for as long as she's known him

. "Do you have any other clothes?" she asked, moving out of his embrace.

"What's the point? Easy to get on, even easier to take off. Am I right baby?" he said, raising and wiggling his bushy red eyebrows. Sasha hit Abe on the arm and shushed him.

"Where's your little chocolate covered peanut?" he asked

"Grandparents" Michonne replied. "Good idea. Don't want to have to explain to all our babies why Mama and Daddy smells like Woodstock, now do ya?"

"Abe, my baby is four. He doesn't even know what Woodstock is! But I'm sure your kids are beer pong champs by now." Michonne laughed.

The friends shared a cab to their condo rental. Denise and Tara had procured a number of home rentals in the Highlands, one of the hippest neighborhoods in the city. Michonne, Abraham, Sasha, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, and Rick would be sharing the six bedroom house for the festivities. Since they were the first three to arrive, Michonne chose a modest sized bedroom near the back of the house, leaving the larger rooms for her friends who were couples. The condo, which had marvelous wood floors, granite countertops and state of the art appliances was a modern sleek dream. High ceilings and cream colored walls accented the simple but comfortable wood furniture. Michonne's room was off the immaculate open floor kitchen and dining room, that had a granite island, and large table which fit eight comfortably. Further down the hall, the back door led to a fenced in little yard with grass and what appeared to be a trellis of grapes. Wind chimes hung along the porch and the overhanging roof that somewhat obstructed the sky which looked so expansive opening up to the mountains in the distance.

"B-double-e-double-r-u-n, beer run" Abraham crooned from his and Sasha's room, walking towards the kitchen to inspect the contents of the refrigerator.

"B-double-e-double-r-u-n, beer run!" still louder he pounded his hands together, dancing around the kitchen as Michonne entered, a look of consternation on her face.

"Sasha! Does he have an off button?" she yelled.

"Yes, beer!" Sasha replied walking towards her husband, shaking her head.

"I take it you'd like to go on a beer run." Michonne said in a monotone voice

. "Oh yeah."

"Well, why don't we go grocery shopping and get some stuff for the weekend. I know we are gonna eat at the wedding, but I'm sure Daryl will be hungry."

"Not even thinking about me huh Chonie? I know we live in Texas now, but shit, I thought we were friends?"

"Abraham, Michonne surely has other things to think about this weekend." Sasha said, giving her friend a knowing look.

"And what would that be Sasha?"

"Rhymes with RL Stine."

"If you're Emily Dickinson!" Michonne laughed "And I'm not thinking about that this weekend. I'm here to celebrate D-nice and Tara."

"And try the legal marijuana!" Abe followed.

"Sure Abe. And get lifted as the kids say."

"Chonie, you're 33, nobody says that." Michonne rolled her eyes at her dear friend Sasha

"I thought that's what they said in _Half Baked_!" she said

"Chonie, you are a L 7, loser, square" Sasha said, mocking her friend who had spent so much time in labs or with her face in a book, she hadn't really done a lot of experimenting.

"Sasha, you've gotten high?" Michonne asked flabbergasted

"Who am I married to? I swear we won't let you Maureen Dowd."

"You mean the New York Times lady who thought she had died after eating too much weed food?" Michonne said, watching Sasha burst into peals of laughter,

"That same one. Anyway, you'll be fine."

'Come on ya smoke shows, let's get." Abraham yelled from the front of the house.

* * *

The rambunctious sounds of laughter wafted into the house as the rest of the guests arrived a few hours later. Rick, who had flown with Daryl entered the house first. "Smells like someone joined the new Mile High club." Daryl chuckled, walking around the large house and searching for the voices. Rick followed behind him towards the kitchen and back porch. Outside stood Abraham with a very giggly Sasha on his back. Abe gesticulated while regaling a tale of how him and Sasha had to run away from some bar with her on his back after he insulted the owner's mother, threw her shoes at the man, and had to escape the wrath of his bigger, uglier, and even more frightening brother. Michonne, who Rick noticed laid in the grass, in a pair of shorts and a sheer tank top, had her locs splayed above her head like a halo. She looked so relaxed, and for a minute Rick forget who he was and what he was doing in this backyard in the first place.

"Hey y'all" Rick said, taking a moment to greet at Abe and Sasha while trying not to peak at Michonne.

"Hi! You're just in time." Sasha said,

"For what?" Daryl grumbled looking at his three friends

"We are gonna smoke some of the devils lettuce." Abraham said, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"Oh, is that right?" Rick twanged, looking at Michonne who had raised her body to rest on her elbows, her skin glistening in the light and her head tilted to one side- brown eyes furrowing, and relaxing as Rick raised an eyebrow up at her.

"Yep." she said, never breaking eye contact with him. Daryl coughed just behind Rick to get his attention.

"Hold that thought. We gotta pick our rooms. Also, where are Glenn and Maggie?"

"Taking a nap like a bunch of toddlers." Abraham offered.

"Give us 15 minutes" Rick said,

"There's one room upstairs and one room downstairs, y'all pick one each and come on!" Abraham said.

"Where are y'all sleeping?" Rick asked the group,

"We are upstairs." Sasha replied, picking at Abe's hair to create two horns.

"I'll sleep downstairs, if that's alright with you Daryl." Rick asked

"Whatever, I sleep like a bear." Daryl offered

"Yeah, Abe, no offence but you snore like a bear." which caused all their friends to chuckle.

Ten minutes later the group gathered to imbibe in some of the devils lettuce together. Abraham, who was the ringleader providing everyone a breakdown about the strain, supposed effects, and for Michonne a 'how to inhale smoke properly' tutorial. The session ended with everyone regaling tales of their many adventures together as friends, Abe and Sasha sharing updates on their lives in Texas, while Daryl who generally didn't say a lot often talked about trying to try new things PC (Post Carol). Rick sat quietly in the grass enjoying the lightheaded and airy feeling of being stoned, his mind a bit foggy but his body fully relaxed. He watched as Michonne joined in on the conversation, talking about her new job and how much she actually loved teaching. He marveled as how spry she looked, how her face hadn't changed much in 10 years, but gained a sense of regal firmness. Trailing down her strong yet supple body, his eyes feasted on her. Michonne knew what he was doing, but chose to ignore the not so subtle glances he was throwing her way. She thought he looked good- mature, the shorter hair of his early adulthood replaced by a longer almost greaser look, slicked back curls which would occasionally fall into his deep and stern eyes. The laugh lines making him look distinguished, but tired, and the faint grey hairs which appeared in his trimmed beard. Age was doing wonders for Rick Grimes.

"So Rick, what about you?" Sasha asked, passing him another joint.

"What about me?"

"What's going on in your life CSI-guy?"

"Not much Sash. Just work and Carl."

"Really? You're boring as fuck." Sasha said, causing all of her friends to laugh.

"I do stuff. Things."

"Rick ain't the most talkative person on the planet." Michonne offered "Give him a break" "Thanks darlin" he said, forgetting himself for a moment. A small but hesitant smile tugged at Michonne's lips despite herself. There it was, the way he rolled the word off his tongue like she'd never really stopped being that to him. She put it aside, letting the moment pass for what it was, a slip of the tongue, a habit.

"Sure." she said, not missing a beat she followed "Can we order a pizza?"

"Smart gal!" Abe chimed, getting up off the grass and heading inside while Sasha and Daryl followed. Rick sat quietly with Michonne for a moment.

"You going in?" he asked.

"In a minute. It's just so nice outside. The sky is so big, it reminds me of how insignificant I am in the universe." she mused, obviously on another astral plain.

"You're something Chonne, definitely not insignificant." he supplied, looking at the grass shyly. The two former lovers laid quietly in the grass side by side. Their bodies close to one another as they stared into the sky, watching Cirrus clouds float by.

"You look good." he said, taking a moment to marvel as her, a small smile planting itself on her lips.

"You too Rick."

"Is it good to see me?" he asked.

"Are you asking, or did you forget how to say it's good to see you, I mean me, I mean… God. weed is something else." she said causing him to chuckle and lift the weight of the moment.

"It's good to see you darlin" he said

"It's good to see you too, _darlin_ " she said mimicking his twang.

"Oh, you told me I couldn't call you that. Sorry. It's been what, seven years now. So can I…" he asked

"Can you whant?" she followed

"Call you darlin?" he asked.

"Am I?" she raised, turning her head to face him.

"You never stopped being, for me anyway." A few moments passed as Michonne took in those words. "Oh" she said, wondering where this was going.

Before she could answer Abraham interrupted with a barrage of cuss words smattered in an announcement that the pizza had arrived. Michonne quietly rose from her position to head towards the house. A firm but gentle hand held her wrist, causing her to turn and stare into the eyes of her once lover, turned friend, turned nothing. His eyes taking on the color of the sky as he watched her search his face for something.

"I just wanted you to know that." he said, drawing her back into the conversation. "I know that Rick." "Good."

"Ok." she said not missing beat.

"We've got a couple days to talk about _that_ , but only a couple minutes before _this_ pizza is gone." she said, drawing his intense gaze from her back on to the task at hand. "Ok Chonne. Pizza first."


End file.
